


dare ya to be who you will

by vamposer



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Bathing/Washing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Female Crowley (Good Omens), Gender Identity, Goth - Freeform, Goth Crowley, HIV/AIDS Crisis, Hate Crimes, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love Confessions, Minor Violence, Nonbinary Crowley (Good Omens), Other, Period-Typical Transphobia, Quote: You go too fast for me Crowley (Good Omens), They/Them Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), Traditional Goth, Transphobia, gender talk, its the 80s, yabadabadaba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2020-09-23 14:49:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20341909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vamposer/pseuds/vamposer
Summary: A loud thud came from the front of the bookshop. “That can’t be good,” Aziraphale said aloud as he stood up.Crowley gets put on probation. Finding themselves stuck in one form proves difficult when they need to go out. They run into some not-so-nice people, and then they need Aziraphale's help.Update: There IS a chapter of total fluff and happiness coming





	1. what do you take me for?

**Author's Note:**

> the title is based on the song "Double Dare Ya" by Bikini Kill
> 
> Crowley gets hate-crimed!!1!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW the actual hate crime. there are slurs and violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please take care before and after reading

“‘S that a chick or a dude?” the drunk slurred.   
“I dunno let’s find out” The other man sneered.  
Crowley started walking faster.  
“Oi! C’mere pretty boy!” Douche no. 1 smiled crookedly.  
“Ladyboy!” He jeered.   
“Leave me alone” Crowley pulled their leather jacket across their chest.  
A swift punch landed on Crowley's right eye, breaking their sunglasses.  
A kick landed between their ribs. They fell onto the ground. Crowley’s vision swam, tears stinging their eyes. “Leave me alone!” They screamed. The men just kept kicking punching and yelling. They could smell the beer on the man's breath. Eventually, the men gave up. Crowley's breathing was shallow and ragged, but they managed to get to Aziraphale's bookstore and crashed onto the front steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thats all folks


	2. what do you take me for?

It was the ringing of the bell startled Aziraphale as he had been hyperfocused on a new book all day. “I’m afraid we’re closed” Aziraphale called from his backroom. A loud thud came from the front of the bookshop. “That can’t be good,” Aziraphale said aloud as he stood up. He carefully maneuvered himself around the pile of books to find a large black thing slumped over on his welcome mat. Upon further inspection, it was a person. He lifted the person and dragged them to the back room. The person moaned. “Shh. It’s okay.” Aziraphale propped them up on a chair. Crowley would chide him for assuming, but they appeared to be a woman. Aziraphale miracaled a wet washcloth and started to wash away the dirt from the woman's face. Underneath all the dirt and snow, there was a black eye starting to form. As the other eye fluttered open, Aziraphales heart fell to his stomach. “Crowley?” He asked in horror.  
“Ngk” Crowley responded.  
“Oh my god, Crowley? What happened?” Aziraphale's eyes started to water.  
“Assholes. ’S what happened” They snapped.  
Crowley looked down to see their tights were ripped, and their leather jacket was slick with something their drunken brain couldn’t comprehend.  
“Blood. You’re covered in blood” Aziraphale cried. “You’re hair! It’s all dirty! It looks like a rats nest!” To be fair, Crowley’s hair looked like a rats nest before they got jumped. Aziraphale started to take their jacket off.  
“What the hell are you doing, Angel?” They flared.  
“You’re all snowy and bloody. I thought you might like a hot bath” He said.  
Crowley wiped the blood from their nose. “Fine.” Crowley was cold and unseemly dirty. And even in their beaten, inebriated state, couldn’t pass up an excuse for Aziraphale to see them naked. Aziraphale finished taking off their jacket. Both the angel and the demon walked up to the stairs to the bathroom. “Really angel?” Crowley asked as they looked at the clawed tub. Aziraphale said nothing. Crowley pulled their t-shirt over their head, and then the mesh shirt underneath it. Crowley reached around their back to get their bra but couldn't reach. “Damned bras” Crowley muttered.  
“Couldn’t you just pull it down?” Aziraphale asked.  
“It doesn’t do that. Little help?” They asked. Aziraphale blushed. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before”  
“Yes, but it will have been the first time when you’re” He mimed breasts “Like this”  
“Oh, come on. Are you scared?” Crowley teased. That shut him up. Aziraphale struggled with the bra, and it eventually fell to the floor along with the bra inserts. Crowley undid their belt and pulled down their skirt and tights in one smooth motion. Aziraphale tried not to gawk. “Oh, dear your ribs! Honestly, dear, even if you don’t need to, you really should eat more” Crowley said nothing. Aziraphale turned on the tap and turned the temperature to the hot side. Crowley sat in the tub. As the water started to fill, Aziraphale used a sponge to clean up the dried blood. Aziraphale struggled to wash Crowley’s hair, as it was filled with dirt and an ungodly amount of hair product. He somehow managed though, and he ran his fingers through the long red curls a little longer than he should’ve. Aziraphale helped Crowley out of the bath and handed them a soft pink towel. “What kind of clothes would you like, my dear?” Aziraphale asked gently.  
“Just some boxers and a sweater” Crowley yawned. Aziraphale rummaged in his drawer and handed them a soft black sweatshirt and some plain boxer briefs. Crowley mumbled some thanks.  
“No problem, love” He smiled.  
Every time Crowley was with Aziraphale, they forced themselves to stop from falling deeper in love with him. Every time they failed


	3. Too fast?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Aziraphale have a Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for self-harm! Crowley hits themselves

“Why do you do it? Dress like that I mean” Aziraphale questioned.  
“Dress like a woman or dress like a bat?” Crowley joked.  
“A woman” Aziraphale stated plainly.  
“I felt trapped. Before human forms existed, you just were how you are. With human forms, you have to be one or another, or a combination of both. So I switch. I live my truth.” Crowley explained.  
“Oh, Crowley. I never knew you felt like that” He reached out to cup their cheek. Crowley scooted over to avoid the touch.   
“It’s fine.”  
“It’s not fine Crowley! What those people, those, those bastards did to you! It’s unacceptable.”  
Crowley laughed grimly. “Actually it is quite acceptable in this day and age to beat up someone who isn’t conforming.” Aziraphale nodded as he miracled a bottle of wine from downstairs into his hands. Crowley gladly took the bottle and downed about half of it.   
“Are you in pain?” Aziraphale reached for the bottle.   
“No!” Crowley insisted. He took another swig.   
“Crowley” He touched his hand to theirs. They blushed. “Can I try to heal you? With miracles, I mean”  
“No don’t-” Crowley started, but was interrupted by a warm hand on their ribs. Aziraphale's hand started to glow, and Crowley jumped back in pain. “Fuck!” They swore. They carefully removed their hand from their rib. A hole had been burned, right through the sweatshirt. “Bad idea.” They groaned. “Is it bad? My eye hurts. I don’t even know. They just kept punching and kicking and screaming all sorts of nasty words”   
“You have a black eye, I already set your nose back in place, I’m afraid it might’ve been broken, your ribs seem to have some bruising, but other than that you’re pretty okay.” Aziraphale sat down next to Crowley. Crowley sat closer to Aziraphale.   
Aziraphale draped a thick tartan blanket over their shoulders. Crowley leaned on Aziraphale.   
“Oh!” Aziraphale exclaimed. He smiled and wrapped his arms around Crowley. Crowley made a strange purring sound and closed his eyes. “I love you, angel” They smiled.   
“What was that dear?” Aziraphale asked.  
“Love you. Even though I shouldn’t. Great big ball of love, you are. Hard not to love someone like you” Crowley confessed.  
“Crowley you’re drunk.” Aziraphale blushed. A sudden realization ran over Crowley.  
“Shit. Shit. Shitshitshit shit!” They stood up and smacked their forehead. “How could I be so stupid! I’m a fucking demon! Oh, he’ll never forgive me this time. ‘You go to fast for me Crowley’ Fuck!” They continued to smack their head. “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”  
“Crowley, please don’t” Aziraphale grabbed their hands. There were tears in his eyes. “Crowley, please don’t hurt yourself. Those horrible people already hurt you enough.” He sat Crowley back down on the bed and started to rub their back. “Shhhh. It’s okay darling.” They were both crying at this time.   
“It hurts. To love this much. To know you’ll never get that love back.” Crowley choked.   
Aziraphale turned Crowleys head towards his.   
“Whoever said I didn’t love you back?” Aziraphale smiled waterly.   
“I thought I go to fast for you?” They made eye contact with the angel.  
“I have plenty of time to catch up.”   
“Can I kiss you now? Or is that too fast?” Crowley asked.  
Aziraphale answered. Their lips met and it seemed as if time stopped. Everything was right, in a world where so much was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for transphobic violence in the next chapter


	4. just like heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aziraphale and crowley have a informal date to lighten the mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh cutsey shit! yayayay

Aziraphale called Crowley’s phone, and they answered almost immediately.   
“Hullo?” Crowley answered.  
“Crowley! Darling! I just bought a new record I thought you might like and was wondering if you would like to come over to the shop and listen to it, of course, you don’t have to if that’s going to fast but I thought-” Aziraphale rambled.  
“Angel, you don’t have to over-explain. In modern terms, ‘Don’t have a cow, man’” Crowley reassured.  
“Oh, yes. Of course. Don’t feel the need to dress up. Come as you are” Aziraphale wouldn’t ever admit, but he really loved Crowley's strong sense of self-expression. Obviously, he loved Crowley point-blank, but it was one of the things that made Crowley so beautiful, so Crowley. 

Crowley stood in front of their mirror, inspecting every detail. “He said to come as you are. You don’t need to obsess” They touched their hair self consciously. They picked up a comb, the nice lead kind you could’ve only picked up a century prior. Crowley carefully brushed through their long red hair. They decided on a simple outfit, black jeans, a shirt, and a dark overcoat. Once that ordeal was over, they peered into their makeup bag. It was less of a bag and more of a suitcase, overflowing with centuries worth of makeup they just couldn’t bear to be rid of. They decided with a soft powder from sometime in the early 20th century. They gently pressed the pouf to their skin, careful not to make a mess and still get proper coverage. Then some mascara that they had picked up earlier that week, just because they liked how the modern formulas worked. Finally, lip color. They scanned their bag for a good couple of minutes before finding a suitable color. Not bright enough to draw attention, but enough color to draw Aziraphale’s attention. A gentle purple, one could say a lilac. “Perfect!” They smiled and grabbed a pair of newer sunglasses, the keys to the Bently, and they were on their way.

Aziraphale, being a creature of habit, did not care for his appearance in the same way Crowley did. He did, however, take great care in the appearance of his home. It may not look like it, but to him, everything had its place. Books had certain piles, little knick-knacks and various oddities had shelved for each category. He had recently bought a modern record player and was trying to figure out how to work it. He was bent over, fiddling with the plugs and wires, when Crowley arrived. “Crowley?” He stood up and turned around. A large smile broke across his face when he saw his companion of a little over 6,000 years. Crowley carefully waltzed towards Aziraphale, careful not to go too fast. Aziraphale had other plans. Aziraphale ran towards Crowley at full speed, barreling into their arms. Crowley toppled over, bringing Aziraphale with them.  
“Hello to you too” They smiled. “Can you get up now? My ribs are still a little sore, from you know. The other night?”   
“Yes! Of course. Oh I’m so sorry, Mon Cher”  
Aziraphale stood up, brushing himself off. Crowley tried to pry themselves off of the bookshop floor but found themselves unable.   
“Little help, Zira? I’m getting old over here.”  
“Getting? Darling, we’re quite possibly the oldest living things on this planet.” He reached down and grabbed Crowley’s forearms, yanking them up. Just as Aziraphale was about to remove his hands, Crowley moved their hands to fit into his. “Oh,” Aziraphale smiled. Crowley leaned in towards Aziraphale, but Aziraphale dropped one of his hands and led Crowley towards the back of the shop.   
“What records have you got?” Crowley asked.  
“Oh, well I picked up one from that band you like? The Cure, is it?”   
“Really? Aziraphale that’s- that’s really nice of you” Crowley blushed.  
“Well, It isn’t much but it’s the best I can do” Aziraphale shied away from his fellow celestial.  
Aziraphale pulled the record out of its crate and removed it from the sleeve. He plugged in the new record player and placed the record gently onto the platter, and placed the needle on a random song. Robert Smith's voice rang through the speakers. 

You, soft and only, you lost and lonely  
You, strange as angels  
Dancing in the deepest oceans  
Twisting in the water  
You're just like a dream  
You're just like a dream

Crowley blushed and looked away. Aziraphale reached out his hand as an invite for Crowley to dance. Crowley graciously took it and let Aziraphale lead. They danced around the shelves, maneuvering each other around stacks of books. Crowley took the lead and span Aziraphale, ending it with a dip. Aziraphale reached his face up to meet Crowley's lips, and it truly was, Just like heaven. It was an odd sight, two supernatural beings slow dancing to a rock song in an antique bookstore, but then again, Aziraphale and Crowley were odd people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay for real, thats all. Read my other stuff if you'd like

**Author's Note:**

> yes, I pretended to not know how bras work for Aziraphale to take Crowley's bra off.  
if something seems wrong, please tell me. The free version of Grammarly is my only beta


End file.
